Sigh! It has been more than a decade and I can’t get enough of Adam Lambert. Never in my wildest dreams I thought that I would fall head over heels for this man and it will stay.
My first memory of knowing about Adam is hazy. I was most probably in my second or third year of college when I heard about him. Or was it a fellow student who recommended For Your Entertainment to me? Nope, I don’t remember. All I remember is watching this video on my Samsung L-700 and absorbing this man’s charisma. That song stayed with me for a while before I searched for If I Had You. I felt my soul being swept away as I held my breathe and watched him spread his magic. What was it about this guy? Why was I so mesmerised by him? I didn’t know. One thing is for sure, it wasn’t only his drop-dead-gorgeous looks. It was more than that. I still don’t know. I probably will never know. I think I don’t need to know as long as my heart is connected to his otherworldly voice and angelic(?) charm. This experience is being written probably a decade later when it should have been written. I think I am ready to write in detail about me falling in love with this man who I don’t know, may or may not meet, or even get to see him.
Time passed by and I kind of got busy with other stuff. My exams, career, and love and friendship drama took over my life and I forgot about him for a while. Adam was there in my mind but a stagnancy took over me when it came to searching for his music. Adam’s guyliner stayed in my memory. It was his first video which settled in my heart as I watched it over and over again. Deep inside I knew that I have found my muse, favourite singer and the only singer who will stay with me till the end of my life. However, the stagnancy didn’t stay for long. In 2014(?), I found myself downloading his entire discography. Maybe it was fate’s kick which knocked sense into me as I got diagnosed with a cyst in my pelvic region. I didn’t realise its severity as it kept being ignored. The question is- what does a cyst has to do with my rekindled love for Adam? Actually, there is a deeper connection between these two things. My then partner wasn’t being too helpful and didn’t pay much attention to the increasing pain I was in. I ignored it too until one day. I woke up with excruciating pain in my pelvic region. I couldn’t stand, sit, or even lie down. My first reaction was to pop 4000 mg of painkiller which was much more than any doctor would recommend. The pain was severe and I couldn’t bear it. I wanted to take a knife and operate on the site myself. That desperate I was to get rid of it.
My partner finally took an initiative and booked a train ticket for me. He didn’t go with me though. Once I took my seat, I opened my playlist to listen to some music as painkillers weren’t helping. I scrolled my list, desperate to find something which could ease my pain. When no song worked out, I finally opened Adam’s playlist and started listening to all his songs! Yes, all! And then a miracle happened. Doctors say that the pain is in your mind. If you divert your attention to some other thing then you brain will not pick up the pain signals and you won’t feel it.
My eternally favourite songs failed to do what Adam Lambert did. The three hour journey became bearable before I realised. A wave of calmness swept over me as my mind became hazy. I felt the trees running along with the train. Ghost Town it was, I think. The rush of dopamine made me dizzy but in a good way. The wind blowing from the window felt nice suddenly as it ruffled my hair. I kept on repeating the songs. I felt different; alive and at peace. It felt strange. No voice ever had that effect on me; at least not until then. Dopamine rush is great but it become even greater when you find someone worth rushing on. I reached home calmer than earlier when I was whimpering in pain. Adam’s voice did what the science couldn’t do. My pain ceased to exist as long as I was listening to his songs. His voice blended with my neurons somehow and it felt amazing.
I reached home, got myself operated upon. Other best thing was the anaesthesia which enhanced my Adam-rush. Before I sank into unconsciousness, I remembered Ghost Town. It was beautiful.
What Is Love?
Love is something which no one has ever been able to define. What kind of love is this? I don’t know. The moment my soul bonded with Adam’s voice was the moment I knew that I will love this guy forever. I don’t need to meet him to admire him, love him. I have become more active in promoting his music privately. I will never know why I love him. Deep down, I know the answer. If you ask me, I am deeply in love and it will stay. Not only me; it’s probably with each Glambert. His smile makes hearts skip a beat; his voice takes you to heaven; his goofy stage antics make you go ‘Awwwwwww’, and one video is never enough. I have found myself praying for this guy’s happiness. When he wasn’t making music, Glamberts were becoming impatient. Not all, just most of them. Then Adam shared a heartfelt letter in which he admitted going through a rough patch. I felt bad for him but I was happy that he was coming out from a dark period. Never in my life I felt like this. His happiness is my happiness somehow. His success isn’t exactly my success but I am concerned about him. I want him to succeed, thrive, be prosperous, and stay happy and healthy. What’s more? He is in love and he is constantly smiling. That makes me happy. If this is love then I accept it wholeheartedly. His voice has tuned my ears and I don’t seem to like someone else. I probably never will. My soul is in love with him since the time it formed a bond. I wish that his forthcoming release Velvet becomes a super duper hit. New Eyes will slay; I know it. Another dopamine rush is waiting for me as I will fall in love with him all over again. Adam deserves all the love in this world and he will be counted as one of the greatest singers in the history of music.
I love you Adam Lambert. What type of love is this? I won’t ever know. For now, I am happy that you are coming back with new music. And yes, I will get inked for you. One of your eternal fans, Laya, has helped me in the designing a tattoo with which I connect on a personal level. Upper sign is Aquarius; middle one is Adam’s autograph, and the third sign is borrowed from his tattoo. Me and Adam both are Aquarians, so I understand his quirkiness and uniqueness.