Love is a beautiful emotion but can easily become your worst nightmare when the one you love ends up hurting you in the worst possible way. What could have been a path to blissful forever becomes a thorny way. Heartbreak isn’t an easy thing to deal with, especially when you have invested your time, energy and emotions into other person with so much dedication. So, how can you help yourself when your whole world seemingly has crashed down? Picking yourself up isn’t easy but it is worth it in the long run.
Healing is a long process and it takes a lot of courage as well. There is no one-size-fits-all solution but there are some tips which may be able to get you out from the pit of darkness.
1. Accept the Inevitable
We, the human beings, are apparently the most evolved and civilised species but still fail to admit that there are some things we just cannot control. The tangible things like money, house, assets, cloths can be chosen, obtained and discarded at your whims and fancies but intangible things like heartbreak, betrayal and cheating can not be controlled regardless of the energy which you invest in them. Indeed, the devastation you feel is inevitable but no amount of pondering will reverse your misfortune. Our technology isn’t advanced enough to let you travel into past and correct the wrongs. The best way you can deal with your loss it to accept it. If the person you loved never bothered to not to hurt you in the first place, the person wasn’t meant for you. Our biggest flaw is that we don’t accept things the way they are. Acceptance is the first step towards healing yourself and the sooner you accept it, the better it is. Every cloud has a silver lining; there will be one for you too.
2. Befriend Your Inner Demons
You want to take revenge on your former partner for hurting you? Sure, go ahead. The impulse to destroy other person is reciprocal to the intensity of love you showered them with; it’s natural to feel enraged. The feelings of being dazed, distraught, hopeless, depressed, and disenchantment must be embraced. The process of healing requires you to embrace your inner demons. You want to shut yourself in a room and cry? Don’t resist it. You want to skip your dinner? Wanna give in to drinking episodes? No harm in it. You don’t want to meet your friends? It’s totally harmless. Give in to your urges; cry as much as you want; ghost your friends; make drunken or frustration laced calls; shout abuses- do all of this if you feel you need to get negative feelings out of your system. When physical wounds take time to heal, emotional wounds are no exception. Keep one thing in mind- your healing will take time but it will happen. Of course, it is advisable to not indulge in self-harm.
3. Love Animals
If you have pets, you cannot ask for a better healing option. Remember, unlike humans they can’t fake their emotions so they are the best companion you can get for your healing journey. Interspecies love is precisely what you need. Feed the stray dogs and pet them. Cuddle your cat or at least try to pet one. Regardless of the species, you can find your healer in these animals. Don’t neglect your inner compassion simply because someone trampled over your heart. Hugging your beloved pets won’t take your pain away instantly but you will feel better gradually. They are best examples of true love. Okay, if you have cats then it would not be easy as they are pretty moody and may smack your face if you are being clingy but it will still be amazing to be whacked by a feline than lamenting over your lost love. If you have dogs then you have hit a healing jackpot; your dog(s) will love you more than anyone else in this whole world. Pet birds are amazing too; their constant chirping would certainly take your mind off unworthy things.
Even if you don’t own any pet, there is always an option of fostering. Take care of someone who can only repay you with their love. In the end, it will be totally worth it.
4. Accept The Damage
Don’t try to go back to your former self. Your emotions are damaged and it’s better you accept it. Most of us try to change back to our former selves without any success. The best way you can cope up with a heartbreak is to accept that you will never be the same. Your innocence, beliefs, thoughts, perceptions and personality change once you have experienced an emotional damage- this is the truth. The universe works the same way too. Everything has to evolve. In order to become a whole human being, you have to experience everything which is thrown in your way. No, do not tolerate unjust things done to you; instead, embrace the reality and carve your path steadily. The whole point of failures is to make you realise that you didn’t deserve what you were fighting for; you deserve much better. Also, you might not want to date someone for a long time or a short while. The feeling is natural. The feelings of suspicion, guilt, bitterness- everything has a purpose. Consider yourself lucky that the universe intervened and showed you the reality of your relationship. You will never be the same person; you will be a mature one. You can’t fight something which was any way going to happen. Embrace what you have become and you may just find your healing path.
5. Give Time Some Time
No healing is instant. Broken heart cannot be made anew like instant ramen. Think about the time when a fight with someone made you feel bad and you thought that the entire universe was against you. Several years down the memory lane, you will probably laugh at it or brush it off. Make sure to remind yourself of the bigger picture which will help you in reviving your broken heart. Everything happens for a reason. You may have loved your partner truly but the heartbreak still happened. Right? Remember, the best way to cope up with it is to give time some time. With each passing day, despite feeling agony, you will start feeling better. Nope, no one is asking you to forgive and forget; that’s your choice. However, it’s a step in the right direction if you face your pain and let yourself heal with ample time. It won’t be easy though. You may face a meltdown, experience mood swings and periods of negativity in this process. Some time later, the intensity will fade and everything will normalise itself. New challenges will keep coming up but this is human life and there is no point in controlling something you can’t predict. Accept that failures in relationship are normal and they don’t define you. The moment you accept that time is the best healer, you will thrive. The scars will remain though. The beauty of healing is best shown if you don’t rush into relieving your pain.